My song “Drug” is about being in a relationship with someone that you know is no good for you, but you continue to stay in it. I met his representative in 2007 while I was visiting Indiana. I had been living in New York for about 18 months at this time and was loving every bit of it. My childhood friend had introduced me to him and we exchanged numbers later that evening. Our connection was very refreshing to me as I was able to be myself and found that we had a lot of common interests.
I went back to New York and we continued to stay in touch. We would talk on the phone for hours and sometimes fall asleep on one another. When he told me he was planning to visit New York, I did not think he was serious. That is until he purchased a ticket which said he would be staying for about eight days. I became nervous and expressed this to my two roommates at the time. “What if I don’t feel the same way when I see him in person,” I asked? They told me not to worry and we would just cross that bridge when we got to it. When he arrived I was pleased that the chemistry was still present and my roommates approved of him as well. He appeared to be the perfect gentleman. We explored New York together, went to a concert in the park, and overall had a wonderful experience. He even ran a bath for me, which made me feel as though I was in a fairytale. Unfortunately for me, this fairytale became short-lived and shortly after this newfound relationship became my nightmare.
A couple of weeks after he had returned to Indiana, I received a message on MySpace from a woman he stated was his ex. She was inquiring about the pictures I had posted of who I refer to as “the representative” and myself. When she asked me how I knew him, I told her that he was my boyfriend. I thought to myself that this had to be a joke. When I brought up the situation to “the representative,” he assured me that this was nothing more than his ex-girlfriend stalking him. He told me that she would sometimes knock on his basement window begging to come in and that he was concerned for his safety and hers if he didn’t oblige. Let me just say that I am completely at fault for allowing this relationship to continue beyond this point.
I found myself waiting for “the representative” to come back and as the years went by, I discovered through the lies, disrespect, cheating, etc… that “the representative” was only present for the first 30 days. He had taken a hiatus and left me with this guy that I kept giving my time, energy, money, and heart to. The more I invested in this guy, the more I allowed myself to be taken advantage of. It was like a drug where you keep taking more and more because you are waiting for the effects to take place. How much did I have to take of it before “the representative,” the person that was so catering and seemed so genuine, would show up? Unfortunately, it took several years for me to realize that the guy I met within the first 30 days of our relationship was never coming back. Eventually, I started to detox the drug of this relationship from my system and eight years later, I was completely over it.